Rest

Rest. Retirement is supposed to be all about rest isn’t it. Finally, we can stop getting up at o-dark-thirty in the morning to get to work. Finally, we can relax a bit, avoid the stress, frustration, exhaustion, and just plain hassle of work. But what happens when rest is nowhere to be found? What happens when the ‘rest’ of retirement turns out to be simply empty, lonely, and meaningless. How can we avoid the retirement black hole?

I admit that this will be a bit of a different post for a financial firm. I was reminded of a few things that really matter but I don’t discuss nearly enough. As an advisor I ‘do life’ with my clients, and sometimes life (and retirement) don’t turn out the way we had hoped, and I don’t mean in the financial sense.

It happens with more and more frequency. Retirees are lonelyand empty. Yes, work is often a hassle, but it often also provides purpose, meaning, challenge, growth, and relationships. It can also be a distraction, masking underlying issues in relationships at home. When we no longer have the distraction of work, we are forced to confront broken relationships with kids, spouses, or extended family, which ironically may have been neglected due to work.  

Faced with a loss of relationships at work and broken relationships at home, retirees can feel isolated. Worse, what was supposed to be a restful retirement can feel more stressful than work, as ongoing conflict causes more stress than the daily grind of work.

So, what can be done? As a Christian, I believe that there is more going on than what we see on the surface. I believe that rest is not just about the absence of work, or the ability to sit in a hammock all day, or even the ability to golf all day with buddies. Rest is a spiritual thing, a deep peace that has more to do with the heart than the activity we have planned for the day. I am reminded of a promise that Jesus gave everyone in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” If we come to him, He promises that He will give us rest. Rest not just from labor but from the things that burden us – those broken things whether from guilt or hurt, broken relationships and life’s disappointments. Jesus meets us in that moment and promises to give us rest. What if what we really need is to get to know our creator?

Perhaps you don’t know what I’m talking about. Perhaps youhave never felt that longing that there is something more, but if you have I encourage you to pursue it. I would even be happy to talk with you about it. Like I said, I already do life with my clients, we might as well be real and talk about what is really happening.